and you said cock pushups were impossible
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
