I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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