The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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