I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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