I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
