he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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