i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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