Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
babies were throwing up all over the place
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
