my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I can't turn off my feet"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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