Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
