just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
