My pussy is not your playground.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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