hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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