Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
