She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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