If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
