I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
