another moral hangover. fuck.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
