Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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