Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
