we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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