oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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