so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
How does one acquire holy water?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
