Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
