I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
