the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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