He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
