would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
