My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
