It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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