why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
