i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
