So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
