we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Buhtt sex?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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