he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
