i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
my shit smells like andre
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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