Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
