nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
