did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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