I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
there is glitter all over my balls
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