I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
