I seem to have left my pride at pride
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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