Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
