mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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