I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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