If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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