She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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