The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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