My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
