I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
