I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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