I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I would ride that face into the sunset
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
