She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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